What's up dudes? H2 + 1 H1 clip before i get called out. I had a good time editing this vid, no pressure and just went with the flow of the song. Hope you dudes enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjoANnpugKI&feature=youtu.be
What's up dudes? H2 + 1 H1 clip before i get called out. I had a good time editing this vid, no pressure and just went with the flow of the song. Hope you dudes enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjoANnpugKI&feature=youtu.be
So as many of you know, I grew up in a racially mixed neighborhood in the Bronx, New York City. Besides being home to the greatest sports club in all of professional athletics, the New York Yankees; the citizens of the Bronx are also well known for burning almost the entire city to the ground in the 70s to collect insurance money. Near the block I grew up on, there were five genuinely amazing local pizza parlors. One of them in particular, Joe's Pizza had been there since after the Italians took the territory away from the Irish, but before the Blacks and Hispanics moved in. Like I said, racially mixed. Anyways, Joe's Pizza's manager and owner was this old angry Italian man who inherited the shop from his father. And these gentlemen, did not, I repeat, did not, fuck around when it came to making pizza. For decades these guy's and their buddies ran this pizza shop with two items on the menu. Cheese Pizza, and Pepperoni Pizza; by the slice, or by the pie. That wasn't a typo, this business ran on two food choices as a main dish, for the better part of a century. You want beef on your pizza? Fuck you! You want chicken tenders, get out! And then in the early 2000s, the pussification of America was in full effect and Joe's Pizza had to start serving items such as Granny slices, calzones, SALADS, and French fries, amongst some other garbage scum of the consumable food chain. But then it got worse, mid 2000s and these fucking hippies and yuppies want vegetables are their already perfectly fucking delicious pizza slices. That's when the owner retired, long time employers quit, and popularity decreased. Decade old patrons stopped coming back. It got too popular for it's own good. I remember seeing Joe's Pizza on the news for winning a city wide award and they just zoom in on Joe (I think that was his name and his dad's name) and he's just screaming at employees, banging on shit, and people stopped caring because they were all on their phones, distracting them from the chaos that was making their vegan, square cut, gluten free, spinach, white ricotta..."pizza"...it feels weird to say all those words in the same sentence doesn't it? Well let's get to how this relates to us now. I haven't been to Joe's pizza since 2011. Out here in the mountain west these miners and stoners don't even know how bad their pizza is. It's sickening. People here don't even comprehend how high the taste ceiling really goes. Maybe I'm spoiled, maybe I'm elitist, but does that make me wrong?
Anyways this evening I got a lil lit, and cooked this large "four cheese" pizza I bought at Walmart for less than $6.00. The cartoon artwork on the box looked like something out of schoolhouse rock meets The Purge but I always go for the FTP (Food to Payment) ratio when I'm on a tight budget. So I'm eating this thing and it just hit me how bad it is. This shit their calling "cheese" looks like someone ate vomit and then shat it out onto the dough. The crust literally tastes like a heavy used moving box with salt, and the "marinara sauce" tastes worse than that sad packet they give you in the TGI Fridays Mozzarella stick box. My fatass couldn't even finish the damn thing. The last slice is just staring at me, mocking me; like it knows that I don't have access to great pizza anymore. I'm just gonna toss it in my neighbors yard, fuck those guys. In conclusion, I think there's a strong metaphor and connection that one can make between Joe's Pizza and the Halo franchise.